I thought it would be fitting to start this blog off with sharing my own story of why I created Worthy Wands and how I turned my pain into power and started a movement.
Sometimes to begin a new story, you need to close the book on the old one and start new one. This happened in 2017, when I was officially evicted from life as I knew it.
I want you to know what I now know, we don’t get evicted from our lives unless there’s a better life waiting for us to claim. We don’t get our so-called “identities” ripped away from us unless there’s a more authentic, truer identity that we’re meant to take hold of instead.
So why did I created these necklaces? These were a divine download during a very dark time in my life when I needed an anchor, a truth north, something to hang onto that no one could ever take away from me ever again, and a tool to reprogram my subconscious mind.
Behind every strong, independent women lies a broken little who had to learn to get back up and warrior on!
I was raped when I was 18, I was a virgin, saving myself for someone “worthy”. Pre that day, I was alive, I was full of light, and laughter. I was a social butterfly, open and just floated through life. But one rainy Halloween night, the lights went out. I was no longer “the angel”, the innocent, beautifully intact girl anymore, and no matter how much I stared at those wings on the floor, they were broken, and that little-feathered crown was crooked and bend beyond repair.
I didn’t sit with my pain back then and let it transform me because I didn’t know how. I was a young woman living in a dorm away from home, going to university what did I know? What would happen when my parents found out? What would that do to everyone that I loved? So the shame, and the trying to peace kept me from healing from that experience. I was taught not to speak my truth because it would only hurt others. So, I just stuffed it deep down inside and I took on the label of damaged goods on a very subconscious level for the next 20 some years.
I also took on the labels of unworthy and broken, not enough. I decided I needed to be perfect going forward, twist myself into a pretzel for others so as not to disappoint because I felt so damaged inside. No one could know my truth because maybe they wouldn’t want me either, maybe they would see me as I saw myself.
I needed to be perfect, and not rock any boats. I lead with my masculine, and in essence conditioned the feminine right out of myself because it was much easier to DO than to BE.
Because of this programming, I stayed so far out of my worth, allowing bad behaviour in relationships to be excused, and my needs to go unmet. My low self-worth and poor programming made it okay for me to ignore my intuition telling me “Hey- you know he’s like cheating on you right?” or “Hey – you know those people aren’t really your friends they’re just using you, you know that right?” I made up stories to make it okay like we do, and ignored my inner cry for help.
So when this last eviction notice came in 2017, and all the titles that I loved so much were taken away, wife to be, mom, people pleaser, perfectionist, etc .. I decided I needed to sit with it and surrender to it and marinate at rock bottom. I needed to ask myself the hard questions and unbecome all the things that I had become that I thought would make me worthy of love. What did I even love? Who was I? I spent all my life doing for others, this made me happy, or did it?
Maybe you see yourself in my story?
See, our ego has only one job, to validate the narratives we tell it – this is why I’ve designed these anchors with empowering words to help reprogram our subconscious minds, because it learns through repetition. So if we believe the narrative that we’re not enough, we will always be seeking outside of ourselves for more, and if we believe that we’re not worthy, the universe delivers like Amazon Prime all things to validate that narrative. Cancel subscription ASAP!
Funny enough, my name Amanda means “Worthy of Love” but it wasn’t until I was evicted from life as I knew it at 44 in 2017 that I allowed myself to completely unbecome that story and find a truer one to claim. One where I could be the leading lady in my own life. The one where I could become my own hero.
My eviction was brutal because I loved my identities. I loved taking care of other people because I now realize looking back, that that’s how I deemed myself worthy of love. If I could fix people, if I could do for other and if people needed me, then I would be worthy of love. NOPE. There is no prerequisites to our worth. I had to learn that lesson are and fast, and it hurt. but here’s what I know to be true: We’re ALL born Worthy and Enough, love is our default setting, but somewhere along the way, we conditioned out of us our birthright and we started believing that someone, or some thing outside of us could make us FEEL _____
I had to completely rewired my brain and do a CTRL ALT DEL on my life and program myself with words that FELT good. I needed help, and I needed a a daily reminder that I WAS WORTHY, that I was ENOUGH that I was a WARRIOR and warriors could do hard things, and that if I lead with LOVE, I would always win. I mean my name means worthy of love for god sakes right?!
The cool part is, this is backed by science and is proven through epigenetics that our cells are always listening, so this is why I created them, to aid in my own reprogramming. As creators, I believe we are always our own first client, because we create what we wish existed.
As the words laid across my chest, I not only had a visual daily reminder that I could see, but I also had an anchor to touch and anchor it in. Eventually those words seeped into my cells like lotion to dry skin, and the game changed.
Our brains love repetition, it’s how it learns, and this is how new neuropathways are created. So, these are more than just a cute accessory, seeing these words and embodying them is how you rewire, neuroplasticity for the win! 🙂
Today there are 4000 plus in the world working their magic, and changing lives including my own. We also donate 10% of every sale to help stop the human sex trafficking of women and children.
Do you have a Worthy Wand? I’d love to hear your story and how it’s impacted your life. Share it with me at hello@worthywands.com
Sending you so much love,
Amanda xo